Co-sex Addiction or Co-dependency

The addict and co-addict are usually people with a broken heart who have become self-reliant in the pursuit of medicating their pain and getting their unmet childhood needs met.
The roots of the co-addict’s behavior again lie in childhood. One can usually trace this behavior back to unmet needs, unresolved hurts, or unresolved issues from childhood. Co-addicts have often grown up in families with addictive behavior patterns well established and the co-addict is very often trying to “fix” what was wrong with their family. The word “rescuer” is often applicable to the co-addict.

The co-addict often casts themselves in the role of the victim. If the addict would only change everything would be all right. “If he/she loved me he/she would change”. The co-addict is often overtly and/or covertly controlling and manipulating which are character traits usually traceable back to family of origin modeling. They are convinced that the problem is solely within the addict and not themselves.

What the co-addict doesn’t know is that their partner has a disease called sexual addiction and that they also have a disease called co-sex addiction or co-dependency. Neither is responsible for the other and neither can fix the other.


Very often the addict feels that they are the only person in the world to have this problem and to do the things they have done. Through listening to others with similar problems, the addict and co-addict begin to realize they are not alone and there are solutions. Through sharing about one’s own experience, strength and hope in the addiction and recovery process, the addict is beginning to participate in the fellowship of the group. This will lead to the making of connections with others which will boost self confidence. In addition, recovery can be enhanced by taking on service roles which involve serving others.

Click on the titles below for specific recovery programs that match your issues and needs. Phone numbers, as well as postal and email addresses are provided. You will probably be sent some literature if you write. If you call, you will probably get a recording asking you to leave your first name and number, and someone will call you back anonymously. By emailing you most likely will get some standard information or maybe a personal response. After several of the listings, you can click on the website address and go directly to the organization’s homepage for specific information about the particular program, which may include a directory of meeting locations and times.